Trigger Warning: from the UK’s “This is Abuse” campaign:
“Sex with someone who doesn’t want to is rape.”
TRIGGER WARNING: This is an incredibly powerful and triggering video on how anyone can prevent sexual assault and rape by watching out for friends, stepping in when something seems wrong, and saying something.
It is an important thing to instill in a younger generation about the impact of rape, the lasting impact of rape. Children from grade school to high school to college are incredibly susceptible and incredibly malleable, as we all know. To get them early, to teach them about the facts and figures and other realities of rape is key. It is an important issue to me as not only a man, but as an educator, as a human being and as a person on this planet.
From an early age, boys are fitted with emotional straight-jackets tailored by a restricted code of behavior that falsely defines masculinity. In the context of “stop crying,” “stop those emotions,” and “don’t be a sissy,” we define what it means to “Be a Man!” Adherence to this “boy code” leaves many men dissociated from their feelings and incapable of accessing, naming, sharing, or accepting many of their emotions. When men don’t understand their own emotions it becomes impossible to understand the feelings of another. This creates an “empathy-deficit disorder” that is foundational to America’s epidemic of bullying, dating abuse and gender violence. Boys are taught to be tough, independent, distrusting of other males, and at all cost to avoid anything considered feminine for fear of being associated with women. This leads many men to renounce their common humanity with women so as to experience an emotional disconnect from them. Women often become objects, used to either validate masculine insecurity or satisfy physical needs. When the validation and satisfaction ends, or is infused with anger, control or alcohol, gender violence is often the result.
Housekeepers at the Pierre Hotel will get panic buttons in the wake of two highly publicized attacks on Manhattan hotel cleaners. The buttons are part of a deal hashed out between the management and the union. The Sofitel Hotel, where form IMF head Dominique Strauss-Kahn allegedly attacked a housekeeper, has also agreed to equip housekeeping staff with panic buttons. So they should! I wonder how many non-publicized sexual assaults have occurred at hotels all over the world… It makes me shudder to think.
On April 4, Vice President Joe Biden addressed Sexual Violence in a speech at the University of New Hampshire. Biden shared the experiences of Jenny (not her real name), a college freshman who was raped last year, New Hampshire Public Radio reported:
He said she’d been drinking at a party. And when she sought justice through the school, she was asked what she was wearing, how she was dancing, and whether she was sober.
“The student judicial panel said they didn’t find Jenny credible because she had been drinking. They decided her rapist was a nice kid and didn’t deserve the punishment under the circumstances,” Biden said….
But whether someone is drunk or sober doesn’t matter. As Biden put it, “Look folks - rape is rape is rape.”..
That’s one message that Biden hit hard: “Look guys - no matter what a girl does, no matter how she’s dressed, no matter how much she’s had to drink, it’s never, never, never, never OK to touch her without her consent. This doesn’t make you a man. It makes you a coward.”
The Feminist Majority Foundation encourages people to take action because there is much to be done between changing the definition of rape and reducing the backlog of rape evidence kits.
Examples of the Types of Street Harassment, from Stop Street Harassment Survey:
On Guard Behavior:
Significant Life Decisions: